"Trust Not In Egypt"

Trust Not in Egypt

I cannot go back

I was beaten, scolded, made small

I will not go back

I was shamed and kicked and prodded and killed

I must not go back

Swimming in lies and fanciful promises of fame and fortune and comfort and love

But like Lot’s wife, I look back and wonder if it was all that bad

// I look back and see my friends

The laughter

I hear the promises of never leaving or forsaking me

I look back and wonder if the pain was simply contrived

// I look back and see my family

The meals

I feel the embrace of acceptance

I look back and wonder if the story was all that bad

I look back and I didn’t turn to a pillar of salt

Succumbing to the lure of the Siren call

Surely God did not say to not look back!

Surely he knows that they are people too!

Surely he did not say to hate father and mother and brother and sister and friends

For my sake.

But why? Why would he make such demands of my life?

Why would he require me to take up a cross when there are pleasures forevermore 

At their right side?

Why demand so much from me?

My friend, he doesn’t demand so much. He demands your all. 

Not a little of what you’ve got. 

He wants every nook and cranny.

He will not be satisfied until you give him all that you are and all you plan to be.

But why. so. much?

Because you’ve forgotten that mixed with the sweet cucumbers were maggots.

Laced in the delectable fish bones that cut.

And yes, the aromatic garlic left a stench for days.

You have forgotten that though you thought yourself free,

You were a slave. 

Egypt a harsh taskmaster indeed.

You had to make the bricks that would build your jail cell.

You had to bring the cup of mixed wine that was bitter to your soul.

The laughter you made was a mask for the pain.

The friendship you had a cloak for your sadness

My friend. Do not go back to Egypt.

Do not find your rest in the pit. 

You know what is there.

Wipe your eyes.

Rub your ears.

And remember.

And run.

From the sin. From the empty promises. From the pain. From the bitterness. From the envy. From the pride.

Run to the only one who can satisfy your deepest longings. The Prince of True Peace. The King of All Kings.